The Crazyness Continues…

Things have been crazy. Ive gotten my budget worked out, the numbers are in place and its actually saving me money. One thing that I was totally stoked about was being able to tithe again. When I prayed over my first tithe, I prayed that God would provide to even more people, that he would multiply it and get it to where it needs to go. I told him, this time…Im not gonna stop tithing. Soon after, things got crazy again.

 

I had been moved out of the apartment for awhile now. I was staying at my mom’s house. Traveling back and forth to work everyday, $130 worth of gas a week. This was a lot of money going towards gas. But, it had to be done. I had some friends that were letting me stay at there place on and off, so I could save a little money. And then, things started getting crazy at my moms house, I guess they were always crazy, but so I guess crazier. My mom said she wanted financial help with the cats, no problem, I can cover that. Then it went from the cats to the phone bill again. She said she didnt have the money for it, so I paid the entire bill, no problem. It set me back some in other areas, but it was taken care of. Something changed overnight though. The last night I was there, that morning, I woke up and she was in a ticked off mood. I dont know why. But ended up in a heated argument. She wanted me to take over the water and the power bill. I cant do that. There is no possible way that i could make it to work everyday, do the phone, the cats, my insurance and those 2 extra bills. She got ticked. She told me if I couldn’t help out with bills then I needed to get out.

 

So Im back in wilmington again. I was staying a night or two with my friends and also staying at my old apartment, across the hall where the furniture was being kept. Well, the locks got changed on the doors, something my landlord has been saying he was going to do for 2 months, and he just now did it. All I can say is Im thankful I still have my job (For now anyways) and my car, a pathfinder. With my car being paid off totally, I know that its not going anywhere. Lets just say that pathfinders are good for camping out in. Im also thankful that this wasnt the first time this has happend, Ive had plenty of experience since I was younger, so I know what to expect and places to go.

 

I have some awesome friends that let me take showers and clean up at there house. And I know wet-wipes arent the best cleaning tool, but hey, it worked in Brazil. Its working now! I go to work everyday at my job, determined to make them want to keep me. What else do I have to lose? Maybe I shouldnt say that!

 

My mouth(teeth) have been hurting for the past couple of months. I fineally was able to go to the dentist yesterday. $3,400 worth of work needs to be done and a root canal…which I only have $1000 to pay towards it. I got a second opinion, my dentist back in shallotte and the price difference isn’t  that much different. The dentist told me that that there were two other teeth that were close to needing a root canal, that if I didnt take care of it soon, then I would need three. Bad thing is…Mountain Dew was the biggest cause. The Dr. said that the acid that is in mountain dew is way more powerful then the acid they use to bind fillings. I wish I knew that back then. There should be a warning label on MD. Seriously.

 

So…Im back where I was again. Ive learned not to put my hope in things…because they do fade away. It can be there one day and the next, totally gone, with nothing left. Things are things. They are nice to have. But you cant depend on keeping them. Jesus does give and take away. And I said that I wasnt going to stop tithing. So Im pushing forward no matter how bad things hurt right now. Knowing that Thanksgiving is coming up and Christmas, I really dont like holidays. To much junk associated with them, and there big Family days. When your family doesnt or cant do anything. Its just like any other day, all except your on your own, seeing families together laughing and hugging. Seeing people put trees up and cooking food for thanksgiving. I think Im just ready to be normal. trekking through the valley isnt much fun.

Numbers and More Numbers….

So I’ve been extremely focused on my budget, why? Im not exactly sure cause math is my least favorite and least smartest subject. But somehow its all making sense. I’ve been researching apartments that I could afford that were in a good area. Working the numbers and doing the budgets as if I already was staying there. Ive got it down to two different places… Mill Creek and Quail Forrest.

 

I like both of them alot, and I like Mill Creek because it has a screened in porch. But doing the math and pretending I have rent, Ive got the numbers. After paying all the bills, tithing and rent….

At Mill Creek I would have $156.05 the first paycheck left over and $311.05 the second paycheck.

At Quail Forrest I would have $202.05 the first paycheck left over and $357.05 the second paycheck.

That price doesnt include the food, gas and power…whatever bills you have when your living in an apartment. So the difference is like $90+

It will change of course, because I guessed working full-time 80hrs a week at $11.00 an hour. I put my pay being at $750 and my car insurance instead of being $80 I got it reduced to $40+ but I budgeted for it being $80.

So that is where I am at right now. I wont know anything about the job being permanent thing till probably the end of December. Till then, Im pulling $200 out of each paycheck to put towards moving. Im not getting my hopes up, but I am planning ahead. Any Advice??

Budgets and Cutting Back…

So I worked and worked and worked trying to figure out areas that I could cut out or cut back on. Driving back and forth to work everyday from Shallotte was costing $130 a week in gas. I say was, because I’m no longer staying there because of differences. Anyways, Im not focused on that anymore, life moves on and Jesus is still Risen!! So I worked on trying to make my budget work for me, I started of with -$160, so I lowered my insurance by a lot and my phone bill, my mom isnt wanting to cut back, so I’m cutting it back for her. I’m paying $80 a month, no more, no less. I’m no longer catching her slack because she cannot pay. Especially when she says she doesnt have the money and comes home with new presents for the grandkids. Im NO LONGER helping her, by enabling her to spend more money. I’m paying my half, and thats it. I say $80 but I’ve never seen the actual phone bill. So that might change some. BUT IM DONE!! Im ready to move on with my life.

 

After much moving and cutting of the bills, I was able to get my budget into the positive!! And it wasnt until I started tithing my money, that I found out I could save more money!! That was not there before!! Out of each paycheck, I can put away $200 towards a new place to live.. in wilmington!! All my bills paid, every month, 25 hours a week…and at least $115 left over for gas and food for 2 weeks. Im not sure if this is a mistake Im not seeing, but from what it looks like, Ill have $800 to put towards a new place December 25th!!! Have I become obsessed with my budget and numbers…maybe?! I hate math. But something about this, is keeping my attention!! And I can tithe again…which makes me incredibly stoked and happy!!

 

Wilmington Living is on the map again. Till then its time to camp out and focus. Being patient and diligent and honoring God in all areas of my life. Woo-hoo!! I’m ready, bring it on!!

Just A Start…

These were just a few of the pictures I took with my camera my friend gave me. I’m figuring out all the App. speeds and F-Stops. The lighting and the tricks I can do with them. I have a lot more but it takes awhile to download them. Im hoping to take more and add them to my myspace sight. This is just the beginning. I gotta get used to this camera..Haha.

It’s Been Awhile…

Actually I forgot my password and was to lazy to go through all the trouble to change it, Ha!! It really has been awhile though.

Things are still a bit crazy, but they are starting to get smoother (If thats a word!) I got moved out of Mark and Christines, it’s probably been close to a month now. I moved back in with my Mom in Shallotte. Not a very fun place to be, I struggle alot there with a variety of different things. But I have been doing good to keep my focus on Jesus and staying patient. Doing what I think I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve kept to my quiet times everynight, it’s really cool being able to read something, then trying to figure out how I can apply it to the next day. It’s a cool challenge.

I have been driving back and forth everyday to get to work, 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes home. It is costing a butt-load in gas. In a week, $130 goes in my gas tank. That is a little frustrating, ok very frustrating. But for now, this is where God has me. I have been working on cutting back my budget. My car insurance got cut back from $134 to $88.75 a month. Sweet! And Im still working on the phone aspect of it. I had put my mom on my plan when my parents split, I now regret doing that because there is no easy way to get her on her own plan without dishing out a good amount of money. That and she is having trouble understanding why I want her on her own, and she isnt willing to cut back on hers. I am paying her half of the phone bill along with mine this month. This is why. I was questioning tithing. Wether or not you HAD to give. But the more I think about it, that was the times where God got me through some of the toughest times. So I think I’m gonna pick that up and trust God once again to get me through.

I got a job at Costco! Part-time seasonal for now, 25 hours a week at $11 an hour. It’s awesome. I’m hoping at the end of the season, they will pull me on full-time…and from what I have heard, there is a high possibility!!  Let’s see, what else is there…

Besides traveling alot between work and home, finances and parenting. I guess thats about it. I had an awesome birthday with my best friend from Charlotte. I hadn’t seen her in about a year and a half I guess. She stayed Thursday – Sunday. Everyday was loaded down with fun!! I miss having a best friend around!! Then we had a really cool party with some of my friends…that rocked that they showed up, if they didn’t I probably, more then likely, wouldnt have stayed!! Haha!! So I guess thats it for now. I also got an awesome camera, a Nikon D70. Ill start putting up some pictures soon!! Love you guys!!

Right Where He Has Me…

So I quit my job…I felt like God was leading me to do that. Then the sewage backed up into our apartment and I ended up losing my place to live, pretty much over night. BUT then God showed up!! Im now living with a family, His step-daughter is being abused by her real father on the weekends when she goes to visit him. DSS and the cops, everyone has been called but nothing has been done to actually stop him from doing this to her. She has been being abused since she was 3 years old. She is 7 years old now. That is the EXACT age that I started getting abused by my grandfather. They were having a hard time communicating with her. She would act out and show her frustrations. It makes sense of the way I acted out and showed my frustrations to, it makes sense now. But the thing is…she calls me her best friend. We sit and talk. I let her tell me anything that she has on her heart. I know without a doubt I am at this house for a reason…for her!! I never had anyone to talk to, and the people I did, pushed me away. She has been to multiple counselors that would shut her down after she started opening up, they would no longer see her. I am here for a reason. I am here to listen to her, help her. But at the same time, God is teaching me why I acted the way I did, why no one ever understood me. No one took the time to find out why I was getting frustrated and angry. So this is a huge blessing…and hopefully I’ll be able to follow after God’s heart on this one. With following after what I felt God leading me to do, quitting my job. I have not gone without!! I’ve had one side job since I quit my job. Painting a friends house, the interior. Not knowing what was coming after that. But I havent worried at all, and Im perfectly happy. Yesterday I went to take care of things with my landlord and he had mentioned that they were going to have to hire someone to paint. I told him that I painted…he was happy!! He asked me if I would be willing to paint the interiors of the empty units in the two buildings and also at his other apartments he owned. I looked up and priced what it would be to get a professional liscensed painter to paint a 3-bed 3-bath condo with the rooms being 10×10 and the living room being a little bit bigger…they quoted me the price of $1,500!!! Thats just one unit by itself!!! I could charge $900 and still bank money!!! Even $300 a unit!!! This might be what was needed to get to Brazil….really??!! I’m not getting my hopes up and Im totally staying on God with this one….but was this why I felt like he was leading me to quit my last job??? Because something bigger was in store?? I wouldnt say something bigger….it’s more like HUGE!! Please please be praying that this would be in his will. That this is what he has for me. I could paint 6 units and have enough for Brazil?! Anyways. So yeah, thats an update for ya!

His Ways, Not Mine…

Well, It’s Thursday and I’m still in a hotel. The second one, Suburban extended stay. This one is alot nicer then the last one we were in. Me and my two cats. This month has been really interesting and definitly trying. But all in all, its not that bad. This whole month has brought me closer in my walk with God. Depending on him more. Going by faith on almost everything I do. I’ve had a ton of time to be in the word, and to be able to pray for others. I went from having a job, being able to pay my bills, with an awesome apartment; to being without a job, no longer in my apartment and not knowing what the next day/hour will bring.

I feel like I’m right at the place that God wants me to be. Of course I doubt and I question. I don’t know anyone that wouldn’t. And my faith dissappears here and there. But I find myself always coming back to him. Praying under my breath, a constant conversation going on. My cats have even been used as a learning tool. I know, funny. But I was watching them. They’ve put up with alot these past weeks. I’ve made sure they have everything they need. Even toys to keep them happy. But the more I watch them, the more I laugh. Out of all the toys that they have to keep them happy and occupied…they are content with the simplist things. A plastic cap off of a milk carton. A lid off a medicine bottle. They could care less if they have the most awesome toys in the world that squeek and make noises..their content with very little, there happy.

I am taking it day by day. I am happy. A hotel room and a couple bucks. I have all the time in the world right now to worry and be anxious, but why do that?  God is bigger and better. He has always provided for me in one way or another. He is there when I don’t want to be. He loves me with a love of a father, he is my daddy. As long as I focus on him, I should have no worries. Because He is still Risen. He will take care of me. Despite myself getting in the way.

Walk By Faith..

So this walk by faith thing is alot tricker then I thought it would be. Things are changing up so much and so quick. The decisions are begging for my attention but I’m at a loss for which one to start with first. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m sitting in a hotel room typing on my computer.

I knew that our place had gotten condemned. Sewage went from the toilets, to the bathtub and onto the floors and walls. I guess with all the other problems we had, this was not a big surprise. God has been leading me towards going and serving my time in Brazil. Since then. Things have gotten way crazy. But continuing to walk by faith, I guess in a way has made me stronger. If all this had of happend a couple years ago..I would have been strung out again, drinking, doing whatever I could to escape the stresses. But I’m here, and I’m fine. I have God on my side. Through testing and trials, you either fail and learn from it, or you succeed. So far, so good.

I got another text from my landlord. We have been in this hotel for I guess, two nights now. I get a text from him saying that it would be best if we found another place to live. That it was to expensive to have 2 tenants living in a 3 bedroom condo with all utilities included. We would have till Sunday to do this. That’s 7 days away. This place was advertised $475 a month each tenant, all utilities were included in this price. We signed a lease. So something about the text isnt sitting right. I think it’s knowing that after Sunday..everything is over. Because our sewage and the tenants sewage above us backed up into our place…we dont have a place anymore.

It’s ok. There is more to this story then I know…then anyone knows. There is something bigger and better one the otherside of all this chaos. He is always there by my side..no matter what. I just have to believe and keep walking forward. This wasnt meant to be a vacation….this is meant to be a Battle!!

Displaced….

So I woke up this morning coughing me head off. I knew I heard some gurgling noises coming from my bathroom earlier the day before and heard it on and off throughout the day today. I called my landlord and told him that we needed to get someone to come look at it. By then it was starting to come out of the drains of the bathtub. It would come and go. But it doing this, I wan’t able to take a shower or anything. Well, since I was still coughing my head off, I decided to go back to my mom’s doctor she worked for to be seen again. They gave me a breathing treatment and ordered a chest x-ray. After getting all that done, my mom wanted me to stay but I had the feeling that I needed to get back home.

I entered into my apartment and ran into the bathroom and as soon as my foot hit the bathroom floor….squish!! The toilet had backed up so much that it had overflowed onto the floor. Nasty Brown water. I immediatly started blowing up my landlords phone. No answers. Only voicemail. About the 5th time, I got an incoming call, it was a plumber!! YYaayy. Or so we thought. He looked and poked around and then came to the conclusion he couldnt help. Then a little while later, another plumber arrived. They were working for at least three hours before they told the landlord that this was very unsafe. Raw sewage, in all three bathrooms, all over the floors and carpet. No longer liveable.

The outcome… July and August rent are no more. We were holding July’s rent till the A/C unit got fixed, but now we dont have to worry about it. Because we no longer rent that unit. So for now…were staying in a hotel. Attacks coming from every which way. Trying to decyfer between God and the enemy. Big prayers needed.

Job 22:21-30

“Give into God. Come to terms with him and everything will turn out just fine. Let him tell you what to do; take his words to heart. Comeback to God Almighty and he’ll rebuild your life. Clean house of everything evil. Relax your grip on your money and abandon your gold-plated luxury. God Almighty will be your treasure, more wealth then you can imagine.

“You’ll take delight in God, the Mighty One, and look to him joyfully, boldly. You’ll pray to him and he’ll listen; he’ll help you do what you’ve promised. You’ll decide what you want and it will happen; your life will be bathed in light. To those who feel low you’ll say, ‘Chin up! Be brave’ and God will save them. Yes, even the guilty will escape, escape through God’s grace in your life”