Job 22:21-30

“Give into God. Come to terms with him and everything will turn out just fine. Let him tell you what to do; take his words to heart. Comeback to God Almighty and he’ll rebuild your life. Clean house of everything evil. Relax your grip on your money and abandon your gold-plated luxury. God Almighty will be your treasure, more wealth then you can imagine.

“You’ll take delight in God, the Mighty One, and look to him joyfully, boldly. You’ll pray to him and he’ll listen; he’ll help you do what you’ve promised. You’ll decide what you want and it will happen; your life will be bathed in light. To those who feel low you’ll say, ‘Chin up! Be brave’ and God will save them. Yes, even the guilty will escape, escape through God’s grace in your life”

Prayer Closet..

One thing, the first thing I did today that was on my list was cleaning out a place that I could go and get one-on-one time with God. I’ve been doing my God times on my bed or in a chair, wherever. But I wanted to make a spot that I could close the door and get away from the world, from my thoughts, from everything.

So the outcome, I cleaned out my walk-in closet and it’s now set up to where I can go and sit down and spend time with my daddy. He has been teaching my alot lately. He has blown my mind in so many ways. And the latest decisions that I am making, I need to really seek His face. I am bound and determined. I’m a warrior in his kingdom. I am only fighting for one side, and I’m not giving up my position! I am so thankful for everyone that is in my life and that has been praying for me, and giving me guidence throughout this walk. But now, I have to begin to run. And I’m running full-speed ahead and not looking back!! I know times aren’t gonna be easy, I know that. But I have a Big Big dad and I know that he will take care of me no matter what.

A Step Out..

How do you know when your not going by your own thoughts and feelings? How do you know when it is God leading you? It’s been awhile since I felt led to quit my job. But with so many hesitations, I’ve found ways around it. I’ve continually prayed about it. I know there is something bigger and better awaiting on the other side. But not knowing what’s on the the other side and knowing that things could totally go wrong, I’ve made up excuses.

Not going into a lot of detail, I’ve been talking on and off to a few people I really trust. I’ve already had  alot of confirmations on what I needed to do, but I still continued to hesitate, again, not wanting to end up where I was at before. Last night was the worship service at Midtown with Lifepoint. I went and God showed up. I knew what I needed to do, but I sat there arguing with him once again. I’m so tired of arguing with God because I never win! He always ends up being right…of course! Last night I went up for prayer after, I got asthmatic bronchitis this past week and its knocked me out of work totally. So I went up to get prayer for healing. And it ended up more about the job situation. Stuff got confirmed there and then Pastor Jeff said he wanted to talk to me after. After it was over, we sat down and by the end of the night…I knew what had to be done. Being on this medication, I’m getting very very little sleep, so I took that time to pray.

Result: I am stepping out and believing that God has my back in this decision. I AM QUITTING MY JOB! Am I crazy? Probably! But we do serve a rediculous God and for once in my life, I’m truly putting everything I am, everything I have in His hands. I don’t know how tomorrow is going to be. I don’t know how next week or next month is going to be…but I’m dropping everything and following hard after Him.

A Week After…

So it’s been a little over a week since the concert. Still kicking and moving, planning and moving forward. Not to fast though. Running into alot of walls along the way. My boss has cut my pay back big time, enough to where Im worried I’m not gonna be able to keep up with everything once again. Ive been applying everywhere I know of..and haven’t had a bite yet. But I know God will provide! Our A/C has been broken for 3 days and the average temperature in our apartment has leveled off between 83-85 degrees. Not so much fun when inside feels just about the same as the great outdoors. The fleas my landlord said that he would get rid of months ago, have quad-drupled and we are constantly fighting them off. We talked to the landlord today and everything he said is going to be taken care of at the end of the week. Im not getting my hopes up though. And on top of all that…I acquired a new cough. I fineally got sick of it and took myself to my moms Dr. Diagnosis is Asthmatic Bronchitis. Now Im on 5 different medicines to make me better and to get me un-contagious. That and I am not allowed to go back to work til Monday since Im around 8 kids. Nice break but so sucks because I’m not getting paid for it and who knows if my boss will let me keep my job.

On a good note though. All of the feedback I have gotten from the bands and different people has been awesome. This Fires Embrace said that their band was still in shock three days after the concert. They said they have NEVER seen God show up as much He did, like He did on that Sunday. There is already another concert in the plans, January 8th!!! For sure there will be This Fires Embrace (Ohio), All Lines Parallel,  and Carry The Wounded. I am working on getting maybe two more bands..here are some of the names  that are a possibility..Willet, Ebracing Goodbyel, Sent by Ravens, and theres some others. But Ill make it a suprise!!! Till later…Tchau!

Post Benefit Concert Update:

Last night, all the planning came to a halt and the music began!!! 5 Bands, 300+ people, Merch Tables, Loud music and two focuses…God and Gospel For Brazil!! Last night, I dont think there is words to describe how it went. God showed up big time!! I’ve never been to a hardcore show that had so much prayer going on during the mosh pits!! People were dancing, people were crying and praying, hands were raised, Jesus was being lifted high and being praised!!! Each band started when they wanted. No hosts, to keep things simple. A video after the second to last band. God saturated the air. You could feel Him.

This concert was way different then last October. God was all over this concert! All the prayers that went into this night was well worth it and I wouldn’t trade it for nothing! Near the end of the night, an altar call was given. People that needed prayer, people that wanted to be set free were. After all was said and done, from what I have heard, there were 15+ people that accepted Jesus into there hearts!!! So this concert was definitly…A success!!! Here is a video kinda to show you how last night was….All Lines Parallel was playing. You might have to turn your volume down a bit. Its not as loud as last night…but its coming, so be prepared!!!

Check This Out…

This friend didn’t know my plans for heading to Brazil. They sent this in a letter to me. What’s your thoughts….

You are a light of truth.
You are a blessing that has been hidden but now you shall be propelled in an accelerated move of the Spirit.

Praise the Lord,
you are going to the desolate places and will restore the wastelands,
YOU WILL travel to the nations.

You will minister to the remote places and you will raise their level of awareness of the “Christ Image”, that they will defeat the realms of darkness.

There will also be little ones that are tied to your destiny and soul
And they will catch the mantle of your praise and finish the work that God will start in you.

You are an apostle to the lost, therefore your boldness is key to move past the walls of this generation.

You will end up in your later days writing books to leave a path of truth and purpose to those who will follow behind you.

Your path is less traveled

Definitly Getting Stretched…

Along with planning fundraisers, I’ve been holding down a job. My first thoughts, this job was totally from God. It still could be, and now the longer I’m there, I’m beginning to really think it was from Him. The past couple of months I have really been struggling with this job. My boss hates anything to do with church, to the point of, if he hears me talking about going to something church related..he makes it to where I am to loaded up with work to go, or he sets a required time that I have to be there..which usually ends up, me missing church all together. He does these teachings on Fridays that doesnt really sit right in my spirit. But there is a reason I am there. Ive applied to other jobs and no answers. 

 

This week, I helped with moving my boss and his family of 8 kids into there new house. That was on a Monday. From Tuesday on, Ive been babysitting the 8 kids. When they tried to get me to do this before, I was so NOT for it. 8 Kids!!! The oldest being 15 and the youngest being 2 years old. Somehow, it happend, and I got them everyday this week. Through the 2 year olds life crisis and breakdowns, through the sibling rivalry, through everything. It wasnt as bad as I thought. And my boss told me that this was good practice since I would be going to Brazil to work with children. What?! I haven’t breathed a word to him about this, not even about the fundraisers. My strength has grown enormously in the past week. Instead of feeling in a funk everytime I leave, Im actually energized and pumped. Something has changed. When would I have ever agreed to taking care of 8 kids at one time by myself?? Teenagers that talk back and test every boundary that you set?? A two-year old that has a melt-down because she cant understand why she cant stick a metal object into the light socket?? Never!!! But it happend. I heard my bosses wife talking to him about getting me to do this full-time, everyday….am I ready for that?? Sure, at least I’d have nap time to read and study in my bible!!!

He Changed My Plans….

So, I’ve been working on getting another benefit concert planned. After last years concert..I wasn’t really planning on doing another one, but after Aaron from This Fires Embrace called me, the date was set and the plans were getting planned. This was probably a month or two ago. Well, now its today, and all the details are set. Bands contacted, people in place…were just waiting for the day to arrive. But God wanted to change it up a little. We have 4 Bands, and thats alot. I was wondering how it was going to all work, but everything is working well.

 

I went to go hear, ‘Carry The Wounded’, play last night. They are an amazing band!!! There were a couple bands before them that were amazing two..one of them being ‘All Lines Parallel’ When they started playing…I felt God. I dont know how to describe it but it felt like they were dripping Jesus everywhere they went. I started hearing the word ‘5′ in my head. Kinda weird because I responded with….’but we already have the four picked out’ again the same number came again ‘5′….to which I respoonded….’No! We already have all the details worked out, 4 is enough.’ Again, ‘5′. So I said, ‘Ok, God, if this is really you telling me that you want a 5th band playing the benefit concert….you are going to have to make it loud and clear to me, because I think we have enough already’. Then I heard the number again. So I was like whatever. Near the end of the concert. One of the band members walked up to me and told me they heard I was doing a concert August 2nd and they wanted in. There it was. I told them, ok….but on the way home I started wondering if that was really God or just me and my thoughts…..I asked him if he would really make it obvious that it was Him that was telling me to change everything…….

 

I got home and went on myspace to request them as friends, this is how Im communicating with all the bands right now. So Im waiting for their page to upload, praying the whole time. And yeah…the first thing that popped up on there screen…

 

A song, it’s name……

 

Erin’s Song

 

So, now we have a 5th band.

This Past Month…..

This past month has been pretty crazy. Growing in my faith, going through really good times and really trying times. Ive learned a lot. One thing that I have never liked was being ‘the head of’ something…like being the planner. Ive always been in the background doing what was needed, being a follower. In this past month, God has been stretching me and teaching me. Teaching me how to be a leader. Although I tried backing out of a few things a couple times…it seems to reappear in a different way the next time, same thing. 

 

I started praying about the whole Brazil 6 month thing. I am totally scared to death, but thats my flesh talking. Im scared of the unkown, leaving my comfort zone, the comforts I have hear, knowing I wont have them there. The fear of the unknown. I started praying hard. I wanted to know this internship was from God, that this IS what he wants me to do. I asked him to close the doors if its not from him. I prayed that prayer multiple times. What I thought would happen, didnt. The doors only opened wider….now its up to me to walk through them.

 

The fundraisers that I was starting to plan, I thought they would fail. I didnt think much about it. I had fun and still am having fun planning them. And its kinda funny, nothing happens till I hand it over to God. I get the details ready, kind of like a presentation, and I present it to God…yes its exactly like it sounds. I sit there, type everything out, do the math, the layouts…print it out. And I sit there praying, out loud. I tell God the plans. Show him the timeline or whatever I might have (Just like he is sitting there next to me) and then I give it to him. He is the manager of all my fundraisers. If its gonna happen, its only going to because He is in it. Nothing happens ever till I hand it over to him…it makes me laugh. With all the fundraisers planned now, it wasnt til I sat there and told God all about it, that things started happening! Im stoked, and amazed that God would use me to help his people in a country so far away…even here in NC, being able to love on people here that dont know Him for who he really is! He is using me at my current job..my friends are starting to ask questions!! Maybe thats why Im still there. God has a mission for me…

Changing it up….

Sunday at Lifepoint lit a fire in me. I’ve been planning on going back to Brazil for sometime now…but I started focusing on everything that wasn’t working out instead of everything that was. To be honest…I started getting stuck on me! I stopped reading the bible so much and started going by what others were saying. Even if it was wrong. I was starting to believe the lies satan was telling me. Sunday got me fired up. I’m done with focusing on myself, at least trying to be done. My biggest struggle is my mind. I analyze, over analyze to the point where I get so frustrated and angry…Ill quit. I can’t do that anymore. I have to learn to depend on God and where he is leading me..where he has called me. 

 

Im making a few changes to start this journey yet again.

#1 Im going to make things simple. Sell the things that I dont really need. Im moving to Brazil and I cant take the ‘things’ with me. A yardsale is in the plans. The money I get from that, I will put it towards raising my funds to get to Brazil. 

 

#2 The money left over from my paychecks after I pay my bills will be going into the funds for Brazil. I dont need all these extra things. Again, what am I going to do with them. It’s just stuff. 

 

#3 Get to know who God really is, in my life. See what he means to me. Dig as deep as I can into Him and get a real relationship going. 

 

#4 Work on the fundraisers!! This is proving to actually be a lot of fun. 

 

#5 Start praying really hard for others, focusing on what I can do to help them.

 

#6 Learn a new way to guide my analyzing into something useful. Instead of letting it get me in a funk, try figuring out a way to help instead of hurt.

 

Im making a list tonight of more goals Im working on, these were just off the top of my head for now. I need everyones prayers cause I know, just by even thinking about Brazil again and wanting to get closer to God….satan has put out a warrant on me…and Im not about to give up my position as a Child of God. I have to be here for something…and I want to figure it out. So begins the journey again. And I think its going to be even crazier then last time. I will write more later!!